The Heroes Heroin(e).

Baically an excuse to make a mix CD. Differing greatly from last years ‘Cheers-Cunt: The Valentines Mix For The Modern (Hater) Gentleman.

P.S: This ons different because it has basically no Emo/Screamo/Alternative on it. Whats happening to me?

Here we go:

Hey Julie- Fountains of Wayne:

Yes these are the people that did staceys mom, both literally and figuratively, (BOOYAH/SHIBBY ETC) so I downloaded this song cautiously, but… I don’t know. Sometimes I get sick of listening to sad songs, and this one is just….nice. It’s summer and love and flowers, and it makes me want to dance in a floral dress.
Plus its got some good lines in it.

‘Hey Julie, look what they’re doing to me
Tryin’ to trip me up
Tryin’ to wear me down
Julie I swear, it’s so hard to bear and
I’d never make it through without you around’

The Corals- Dreaming of You;

Ultimate anti-valentines day I love you/hate you song, but subtle enough to be able to listen to and not get all filled up with hate :D
Basically it’s the song at the end of Scrubs where Elliot and J.D have adult touching time.
Plus, it’s got an odd as hell beat, that kind of sucks you in.

‘I still need you but…I don’t want you now’

The Shins- New Slang

Yep, this is tumblr. Yep I am posting The Shins. Could I be any more indie…Fuck my life. But it’s a really pretty song. Chill, and kind of uplifting, in a way that it makes you happy when you’re listening to it, but when it’s over there a little bit of sadness there. Maybe thats just me. But listen to this song if you can’t sleep. On repeat.

Plus, the lyrics are… just amazing. I’m tempted to post them all.

‘Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head’s to the wall and i’m lonely.

Well i’d have danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would have fared well.’

City and Color- Comin’ Home.

I can’t even say anything about this song. Favourite. Ever.

Something Corporate- Konstantine

Nine minute epic.
Nuff’ said.

Here’s to a girl, who got into my head
With all the pretty things she did
Hey, you know, you keep me up in bed
This is to a girl, who got into my head
With all the fucked up things I did
Hey, maybe, baby…
You can keep me up in bed?
My Konstantine

Lady Gaga- Born This Way

Kidding. That song is a a piece of shit :)

Wow… so maybe it ended up a lot different than I thought…

Time to find courage; Brad promised to do muso’s night with me when he came back.

You.

You reading this.

Any of you. All of you.

I want you to know something. I need you to know something.

It’s almost impossible to comprehend but;

Me? I existed before I met you.

I have grown and laughed and cried. I have had skinned knees and broken hearts. I have ironed shirts and washed dishes. Loved and lost. Put out the trash. Grew inches and sizes. Worn pigtails and party dresses, even nothing at all. Suffered through awkward years and awkward silences. Learnt how to whistle, ride a bike and hold my breath underwater. Counted minutes and seconds and grew. Grew. Grew. Lived years of my life.

Me? I have always been someone

Please don’t forget that when you go.

For I will still be someone, even then.

I am fractured, sometimes a hairline, sometimes in half. I like water because I feel like it could wash me away without a trace. I like water because it makes me feel light and convinces me I’m not always heavy like a burden no one wants to carry on their back. I don’t like looking people in the eye because it makes me uncomfortable with my looks, my demeanor. I don’t like looking people in the eyes because I feel like they can see my soul, and take it away. I can’t talk on the phone because I lose the ability to run away from people I hate, or make physical contact with people I love. I am insecure to the point of relative insanity. I give myself no relief. Everything becomes comparable but the result is never variable, always fixed. I have consoled myself with never’s that now control me. I will never be beautiful. I will never be complete. I will never be confident enough to believe in the positive things people bestow upon me. I will never be secure in my love and life. I am always waiting for people to leave. I am always thinking of you and imagining you are thinking of someone else because in my head I am positive that you are, Someone prettier, nicer. I am the daughter no one wanted to have. I am the classic over achiever who burnt out before I really achieved anything at all. All of this, it simply equates to ‘I will never be happy’. If you tell yourself enough lies everything becomes truth. And thats bullshit.

Found this at the bottom of my bedroom drawer. Where did you come from? Where was I? I suspect it was for school english, the romantiscism unit, but I never got the chance to hand it in.

When I think of you my chest hurts. I’m still too vain to wish you were here. I haven’t brushed my hair in weeks. The strands look tangled and confused. I am tangled and confused. When my head hits the pillow, I swear, I can hear the ocean, rippling around all of our intimate moments.

I’ve never felt so trapped. I sit in rooms with people who mean nothing. Get up close, just to hear breathing. Not feel so alone. But they don’t. They don’t breathe like you do. They don’t do anything like you.

And sometimes. Sometimes I look silly, and run backwards. As fast as I can. Hoping that I can bring the world with me. Escape the end. Rewind to the very beginning again.

But my legs; too short
And my trainers; too worn
And I never get far from the things that I can’t handle

I wonder.  Is it possible to be both the moth and the flame. Counterproductive

I try to purge you from my system
But you just cling to my chest
And I’m coughing up my secrets
But you still wont move and inch.

Not an inch.

To many protagonists, and everybody becomes somebodies antagonist. We all have villians.

Maybe people, they don’t want to have to pick what to believe in, who to believe in. They don’t want the choice between John Smith and Jane Doe, because with human emotion, comes the fatal drawback of uncertainty. The tiny speck in the corner of your windshield that never gets washed away. The thread of doubt that you hold onto, and pull and pull until it all unravels, no matter how ridiculous the alternative. No matter how sure you think you are.

Maybe people, they don’t want the responsibility and resentment that comes from the possibility of making a mistake, choosing the wrong team, picking the bad apple. Human nature, history, you realise, was built on the desperate and extreme measures that a human being will go to in order to relinquish; to point blame instead of recieve it.

But I’m pointing the finger at myself. And thats where it will stay